Use both the contents and the header width when wxLIST_AUTOSIZE_USEHEADER is
given instead of just the latter.
Also make both wxLIST_AUTOSIZE_USEHEADER and the previously implemented
wxLIST_AUTOSIZE work efficiently for the virtual list controls by reusing
wxMaxWidthCalculatorBase already used in the generic wxDataViewCtrl.
Closes#10326.
(this is a backport of de7e315557 and
0e2d9e539c from master)